Study vacations- How to spend your days being miserable.

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If you ask me, i’m really quite good at it. At making living, spending days miserable. If you want, I’ll tip you on how exactly I spend my study holidays.

Start off your day by waking up to semi-meaningful and semi-wtf-does-unconscious-mind-even-think-thoughts. Then go on, check your various social networking accounts. Sit ideally with the cup of tea and think, THINK, about what all you will study, how much you will complete in that day, and praise yourself for the wonderful daily goals that you set out for yourself. But after that, don’t act. Read a book. Lunch. Take a nap. (Mom common! You know I had a bad dream, I need some sleep to cover up) Wake up sweating again, and dread setting in, realizing how you have not even studied an ounce of your wonderful daily aim chart. Start fast aimless reading. Clam sometime later and finish some bit of your portion. Become smug again and while away time. Every half an hr of TV or that book you read, you promise yourself, I will study after this hr is over. And it goes on, you while away many of those ‘only one more hr’. End up with dinner, feeling miserable with how horribly you failed to manage your day, and your mood too. Stare at the wall. the TV, the phone, the chair, the maid, and ofcourse the textbook. Read two-three answers and suddenly feel too tired, convincing you will do better tomorrow, put away the books for the day. But sleep with guilt and dread and realization that you did actually waste your day, sleep. And don’t forget throughout the day have random, jumbled, mindless, hopeless, irrelevant  useless, weird, creepy thoughts about anyone, everyone and anything. Sleep with all this on your mind, and I promise next day you will wake up with the same day, same routine, same fake aims, and end the day with the same or maybe a tab bit more colorful failure to your week. Its like I don’t have to try, I’m so good at this! As you already read.

Okay I’m sorry to whoever even bothered to read this rant of mine. Sorry bro, but I had to remove it somewhere even if its a unknown blog on the internet.

Thanks for listening mate, bye.

Crush = Crushed

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WHAT WE DO

Pursue the crush –>  hanging in midair –>  loss of appetite & sleep –> slowly see self transform into a stalker –> invaluable time lost in stalking the crush’s various Whatsapp/BBM/facebook/Twitter profiles –> constant state of restlessness –> sucker for any information on the crush through gossip sources –> end up becoming a pro on the crush (crush level ‘extreme’  = when you even know the name of their building watchman) –> failed attempts to woo them –> feeling of jealously on seeing them talk to someone or anyone –> lots of unhappiness –> unable to confide this sickness to anyone else, if have then, feel acute embarrassment –> the state of giving up –> still have to pretend being friendly with the crush –>  the crush is not aware about the entire thing in the first place –> Congratulations! You have successfully and miserably friend zoned yourself 🙂 –> THE END

WHAT WE OUGHT TO DO

Pursue a goal –> feel enthusiasm and hope –> no care of appetite and sleep –> slowly see self transform into a sincere hard worker –> valuable time utilized in achieving the goal –> constant state of energy & anticipation –> blunders and failed attempts happen –> feeling of loss due to crushed dreams –> on the state of giving up –> reconsider actions –> find ray of hope and decide to try again –> work harder and vow to give your best, come what may –> no care of the result, just know you are giving your best shot –> at the end of every day, sense of happiness and content elopes self –> feel proud for all the hardwork done –> achieving goal level  ‘success’ –> feeling of infinite happiness and sense of fulfillment which will last for many days –> made self and everyone proud and impressed –> achievement of goal and inner peace –> Congratulations! You have successfully and proudly achieved what you had wished and aimed 🙂 –> JUST THE BEGINNING

A Conversation

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“I should probably go for it. It is difficult, it is out of my natural characteristic, but I feel I should…”

 ”Forheavenssake, snap out of it!”
 
“It’s not going to be the end of this world if I step out of my self regulated attitude and ego, for something meaningful!”
 
“Why are you forgetting it will be against every principle of behavioral conduct you have been following ever since you were sensible enough to do so?”
 
“Don’t pretend like you don’t know. Change is how we experiment and evolve!”
 
“But some things always lay in the restricted zone, my friend!”
“Hear me out first! If I have come so far with my thoughts, shouldn’t I give reasonable justice to them?”
 
“By thoughts, you mean those feelings. Don’t you? Haven’t we lived this world enough to know feelings take you no place whatsoever?”
 
“If you don’t try, you’d never know what it holds for you.”
 
“How convenient of you to take solace in some cliched quote which only people I have ever come across using are movie characters.”
 
“You’re being so calculative, that only shows how scared you are.”
 
“No. What I’m asking you is to be a little sensible, just think what consequences your actions will bring. If they are favorable, go ahead. But if you aren’t sure of it, why risk?”
 
“You ask me to be sensible? But because I’m an emotional fool, sensibility only gathers dust behind the head. Order me to foresee the consequences? It won’t matter because I’ve already crossed the line of choice. Tell me don’t go ahead with it? My mind can advice me all it wants, but my heart has already started living the fantasy.”
There you go. A conversation between Rationality and Romanticism, the only type of thought processes we heed to.
And which conflict on every ground.  

this too shall pass

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Acute heart ache. Gulping in horror or realization. Furious sweating. Fast mad beating of the heart. Fingers and toes curling up. Mouth becomes dry. Hands all sticky. Sudden fatigue. Overcome with the need to sit down. Shallow breath. Speaking in very fast manner. Inability to swallow food. Heart sinking in stomach. Darkness surrounding all over. Cannot comprehend what other people are saying. Utter despair. Aimlessness.

Are you feeling any of these wretched things ?

Something is wrong with you, something is very wrong.

My condolences. Going through one of these. It will go. Not right away, not this minute. Maybe not tomorrow, or even after a year. But, we’ve got hope. And some blind faith in the unknown power above us. That’s all we got! So just praying…  ‘This too shall pass’.

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Image Courtesy- Google

Get a grip!

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The person and love that we’re yearning for? We think its perfect and all. We day dream of moments and possibilities and analyze every single movement and conversation with that person. But the fact is, our mind makes up bullshit. It makes up utter rubbish in free time.
That’s the truth, its not happening. There must be something out there, because this is not at all the real thing.

Lets save my blue sock

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I had some insights today. Some situations have been creeping in on me, for a very long time. And I have been ignoring them conveniently. Since days, months, and this one thing, trust me for more than a year. Quite parallel to the way we ignore those particular clothes in our cupboard, but never really throw them. We actually shove them at the back of the cupboard, away from the mothers eye or yours own as well, but no, never doing anything about them. You know you don’t need them, you don’t wear them, probably don’t even like them, but no. We humans are very fond of this nasty little hobby of collecting, accumulating things, giving us some sort of cheap satisfaction at the back of our tiny heads. Collecting insignificant coins, ancient books now filled with dust which you never read, shoes that don’t fit anymore and even the free plastic boxes you got on that cereal box. Collect collect collect. Its like a creepy disease. Its our prized worthless possession, even if its a pile of bad situations and problems needing confrontation. Its just there, not doing any harm but not benefiting us as well. I thought for long, and hard. This vicious circle has to stop right. I mean these situations aren’t helping me in any way. Sure not causing actual inconvenience, they’re piled up right here in front of my eyes. But maybe in the long run, how would I know? Maybe the pile would be too large and just fall on my head, just like the clothes with whom I have war everyday, pushing and shoving them inside the cupboard anyhow. This one blue sock is permanently stuck on my cupboard head, having flown upwards and landed there after a particular nasty fight. *shudders* Would my future self curse me for being such a loser and letting things happen to me, instead of taking control. I don’t want to take chances, I’m scared of my future-bitter-self. Hey! I live with myself, don’t I ? So I need my future-self to be happy. Feeling wise, inspired and not to mention in fear of my future-self, I vow to throw away those clothes and save my blue sock, as well as get down with the situations and problem. Pray for the dear sock! bye. 😉

Lessons learned. Tried and tested.

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1. You just need to let your guards down.

2. Stop pretending, trying to cope up or compromising on situations and people you don’t want. Drop the pretentions! It is easier to breathe this way, take in all the clear air.

3. It is true. Life doesn’t turn out the way we wish, but we have a choice. Take the matters in your hands. Make things happen instead of waiting for destiny or some bitch named similarly to decide your path. Act!

4. Be with yourself. As old school as I sound, sometimes all you need is some air to clear your head and goals, not incessant chat messengers and phone calls. Just talk to thy self.

5. Inner Peace is essential for a healthy good living.

As we learned the immortal message given by Master Shifu to Po, in Kung Fu Panda 2–

“Remember, Dragon Warrior: Anything is possible when you have inner peace.”  

6. Friends

Food & Beverages 😉

Books

Music

Need I say more? This is our blood and water. Turn to them in distress.

7. Once in a while, it is fine to sit by the bench; catch your breath and take few sips of water. But that does not mean you keep on sitting back and don’t reach the end of that race track! Wear your running shoes tight, and make your way soldiers.

Don’t stall. Face things.

8. Happiness is being in now, not in what has passed by and neither in what is in store next. It is in being present, here right now; and just living.

9. True fulfillment is in achieving whatever you dream, big or small. Majority of us believe fulfillment is in pleasure, but duh. Heartfelt contentment lies in work!

All play and no work makes Jack a dull boy.

10. Most important. Be brave.

The monster called ‘fear’ creeps into us every now and then; we all are so inevitable to it.

But when he comes visiting you, just go and heed your dear ones, talk to them, and jot in all the strength you can summon. Choose bravery over fear, alright?

Signing off.

xo

( I had written this article months ago, but believe me in times of utter confusion, I go through my own advice again. And again. We humans, tend to forget. Yes even our own advice at times. So before you go preaching out there or want to share your experience, make sure you’re doing what you want to ask others to do. 😉 )

A small conversation

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This is a guest post by my dear friend and fellow blogger Harsh Kundnani  in continuance or rather sharing space with  ‘A Conversation’ (my second blog post). And this also happens to be my favorite of all his writings so far, and he’s a good writer, this Harsh guy. We, me and Harsh, are rather quite found of conversations. Our friendship has ..lets say..evolved on them. Oh mind you, all kinds of conversations. The sarcastic ones(90% of the time), the reflective ones, not so sensible ones, the ones that touch some nerves and you know..the stupid ones.

So here we present-

We sat across an elegant table draped with a transparent white cloth. It looked as if a beautiful face was hidden with a patina that did not deserve to be there. I was the host (as  is the case most of the times). I ordered for coffee while he politely declined anything the waiter cared to offer.
‘So why do you summon me? Go on. Ask anything’ he said.
‘You should know’ I replied.
‘I would like to hear it from you, nevertheless’ he said.
‘Why don’t you ever eat?’
‘Is that the reason why you called me’
‘I’m just building up for the big ones’ I replied.
He kept on staring.
‘Okay. So what is this thing? I’m in a mess, and you should know that. Some things are just not in my hand’.
‘Why are you getting worried my friend’ he said smiling.
‘Because I feel you aren’t doing as much.’ I blurted out.
‘Since long do you know me son?’ the smile still persisted.
‘I cannot recall, must be years’ I replied.
The truth was I did remember. Even since we got into this thing. Ever since the inception.He had been my partner and my guide since the beginning.
‘Why let your faith dwindle then?’That left me with no answer.‘Why do we fall? So that we get up and give it back harder.’
He got up and gave me a bear hug and whispered ‘Keep faith’